Mike Trout Bryce Harperd Bryce Harper, But Better

Mike Trout just Alpha'd Bryce Harper so hard and Harper is going to have to live with that for the rest of his life. Trout just signed a gargantuan of a deal for 12 years and $430 million, replacing Harper’s short stint as the highest paid player in baseball, who respectively signed a 13 year $330 million deal just a month ago. Trout wins this contract-off in every way imaginable* and there’s no more deserving player for this big of a deal.

Trout, the most boring generational athlete in human history, gets to keep this esteemed tag as he’ll continue to rake for a team that sucks and in a city that does not care about the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Now that LeBron is in LA, all the attention turns towards the Lakers, the Rams, and the Dodgers. Not one person in the LA media is going to have any gripes against the Angels. They’ll continue to suck, Trout will continue to play out of his mind, and they will get completely left alone by the media. Instead of going to a city like Philly or New York (or basically anywhere else except San Diego) where Trout would be under a microscope every at-bat as each sportswriter tries to argue that maybe this contract might not be worth it, he’ll stay in sunny LA where the media cares more about where Lebron sits on the bench during timeouts than if a slumping Trout was worth 430 bags. He’ll still be able to stay low-key and keep his privacy and that’s an unbelievably unique situation for a player with his talent. The worst part of being a famous athlete is not being able to go out to dinner without being harassed by fans for autographs and pictures. Staying in Anaheim, he’ll take a back seat to Lebron, the Ball family, and even Jared Goff. Trout isn’t even in the top 10 of the MLB in highest selling jerseys. He can continue to live his boring life with his boring personality and boring shoe deal and be left alone as he chases that Hall of Fame plaque.

Sure, it would be nice to play in a market like Philly where you are competing for championships every year for the next decade. But I for one would take $100 million more and one less year of commitment on a deal to play on the 7th most popular team in Los Angeles. I’d say the LA Galaxy are even more relevant than the Angels. Barring some drastic roster changes, the Angels will probably suck for most of Trout’s deal but he is going to rake in the money and continue to be the best player in the world. I would do unspeakable things for just $1 million dollars, so sign me up to be a first ballot Hall of Famer on a garbage team for $100 million. Enjoy your ring(s) Bryce, Trout will enjoy his bag(s).

*ignore the fact that the Angels are hot garbage and the Phillies have a legitimate shot at the World Series